Time

 

 

You’re never enough with the ones I love.

You’re fleeting but so incredibly still sometimes.

You freeze when I feel stagnant.

You move far too quick when I want you to stop.

You’re a watch clock of all things I choose to occupy my space with.

You tick louder when I start counting the seconds.

You go slow when I need to take a moment to realize that you wait for no one.

Oh, all the ways you remind me that you are borrowed, not guaranteed, and to spend you wisely.

Advertisements

Learning The Ropes

When woven rope becomes the thing in which you use to climb instead of a game of tug of war you can never win.

When the force of your own stubborn grip, leaves your hands completely scraped raw and scarred, baring the honest resemblance of all the reasons why you should no longer hold on.

You bare it.

Bare the familiar sting and you accept the nature of the injury as some sort of everyday comfort you breath in and out suffocating, as if the discomfort that was trying to tell you something worth learning wasn’t enough.

Pain whispers little grains of salt into your wounds challenging your heart’s threshold.

Did you learn?

Did you even listen?

When the illusion of the fruitful climb, is really the laws of gravity telling you the higher you climb, the harder you’ll fall.

When truth smacks you dab right in front of your face and tells you it’s who you climb for… more than why you climb.

Know the difference my dear.

Know that you can climb a mole hill or an entire mountain for someone and they still wouldn’t appreciate your efforts if they fail to appreciate you.

Here’s the thing, you have the be the reason you climb. Let the reason be you – For when you hold on, you know you’re holding on to your needs.

Respect yourself enough so that your knees won’t fall to beg, you will fall because you needed to learn and the rope was there all along to help you pull yourself up not intended to tie you down.

Is that enough reason for you to let go when it’s no longer worth holding on?

Or will you just loosen the grip until the pain forces your hand to release?

Will you release? Or will you wait for the pain to release you?

Whether the rope is used as a noose, the pull, or the climb: How hard you stubbornly choose to hold on, how gracefully you choose to let go, or how determined you are to use it for the climb… is for you to decide.

That’s the beauty and also the beast: Our decision is always our own to make.

So learn the ropes and use it accordingly.

365

There are good days and then there are bad days,
Then there are days with you.
I enjoy everything in that nothingness we so often, often do.
You make food taste better,
Love songs make beautiful sense,
Really bad days mild,
Better days amazing,
– All of my days a peaceful Sunday morning.

You are brunch on a sunny patio,
The cozy comforts of a fireplace on a cold winter’s day,
Sleeping in with no alarm clock,
– A piece of rich dark chocolate during my sugar low.

You are my hit of caffeine,
– The warmth of fresh laundry.
My strolls and sunsets.
Come nightfall, you are my heart’s resting place,
And I sleep soundly.

You are my skeptical ‘ifs’ turned into a matter of ‘whens’.
My “what ifs” into “I’m all in.”
You are the questions I didn’t need to study for,
I already knew the answers because your smile spelled yes, and yours eyes promised now.

I am eternally love’s struggling fumbling student but I’ve learned that love doesn’t give up as long as we are willing to show up for it. It is an uplifting heart based decision on whether we allow ourselves to feel it, give it, and receive it. Where love’s gravity, depth, & courage is measured in how much we allow ourselves to be seen, truly seen. Or whether or not the person is worth the chance, leap, and ultimately, how we choose to nurture each and every day together is a choice and what we make of that will be.

This 30’s something kind of love writes like sweet hand written notes, built and sewn together like all things home and handmade, and mindfully handpicked with objective palms and good intentions. And like all things made from scratch, I look forward to continue building what we have from the inside out with earnest hands, designing the blueprint using our hearts as the template.

Thank you for a great year of ups and ups Alistair & thank you for being so good(annnd patient :p) with me ~ How lucky I am to have found someone who makes all of the above apply. XO

Hard Work

I believe in HARD WORK.

I believe that people who do more and say less get shit done. I believe people who carry consistency and hard work on their backs are well aware that results come from the labor not the lazy. They have very little time for bullshit and b*tches. :p I believe that people like this know that anything worth having doesn’t come easy even when the ground feels like quick sand, they challenge that sinking feeling. I believe people who follow through even through the darkest of days is not only a reflection of who they are but the depth of their faith.

I’ve seen strong. It has an indestructible backbone. It’s opinion doesn’t hinder. It admits when its wrong, it stands up for what it believes to be right. It takes accountability and takes charge. It doesn’t compromise who it is for acceptance nor approval. It has many layers, and pillars helping it stand tall no matter what external elements try to tear it down or discourage it’s process. It is basically not to be f*cked with annnnnd has the nicest purse collection & hair. :p

Behind it’s fierceness also exists a softness that doesn’t make an appearance too often but when it does… its rare, special, and breathtakingly beautiful like a solar eclipse. It has the kind of heart that reminds me that beyond hard exteriors and behind tough words ALWAYS lies so much more than strength but what’s on the other side of the coin. It reminds me that such strength only exists because it’s been tested. And yes, when this kind of strength cries, it has the ability to move an entire house.

If you were to ask me, YOU represent all of the above.

It’s not every day that we see each other, but it’s in everyday that I know “You are the company you keep.” The quality of my thoughts is in large part who and what I surround myself with. You have always been a positive and bright setting in the backdrop.

We are all building our worlds quietly, constructing a life worth living. From a spectator’s point of view and where I stand, you’ve always simply knew where you stood in this world. And because you do, I don’t see anything or anyone deter you from where you are going and want to be. Strength, happiness, and a sense of who we are is a 24/7 inside job and must be earned. I can’t tell you how much I respect how hard you work, not just academically but on who you are as a person, designing the life you want. I know one person who would be especially proud of you today because you are a shining extension of her kindness, beauty…her.

Never stop SHINING Guuuurl, esp. with that conditioner you’re using. :p

You are three decades young and just getting started! Today I wish you the best of days and of course wishing you the most beautiful year ahead! ~ HAPPY DIRTY THIRTY HARPO!!! I know you have too much class but it won’t hurt to be a BIG DIRTY WHORE just for today! 😛 lol

XOXO ~ Terwinder

Humble Success

The December ‘baby’ FINALLY turns the BIG THIRTY! Guuurl, I would tell you to make it dirty, but you’re married, so lucky for Jimmy to be at the receiving end. :p We’ve known each other awhile now, & although I don’t get to see you as often, I’ve come to learn three admirable qualities about you I have always respected: You’re quiet in your ambition, loud in your results, & remain humble in your success.

You have a way about you that never fails to make things look easy, but I do know behind your laid back sense of grace… is a hardworking, determined mind consistently reaching for the stars. You may be awkwardly stiff in your expression of love, but I’ve come to embrace your hugs. Because sheit, if I don’t use my arms, and you don’t use your arms, we’re pretty much two human standing poles. :p You care in your own way, love in your own language, & are an incredibly kind & warm person inside out even with them armless hugs. 🙂

Just as you do at the gym, everything you lift, you lift in life with pure heart. Now let me shred some cheese on them abs guuurl. Meow.

Happy 30th Jaskiran!!! Wishing you an amazing year ahead filled with sunny days. May all that you put forth into the world as a teacher, wife, friend, sister, daughter, gym beast, etc. wholeheartedly come back to you tenfold. Heart you!

XO,
Terwinder

Luck

It’s like I went to the corner store, decided to pick up a scratch and win, scratched it, and there it was, your face on the winning ticket. Luck found me.

I win because our friendship feels as effortless as our conversation. I win because there is no other single person who can be as honest with me, to borderline offensive and get away with it like you do. :p I win because if ever my buttons were there for anyone to push, it would be for you… but in all of the right ways and reasons. I win because nothing said between us needs to be sugar coated nor filtered, and nothing you say to me can ever be too trite. I win because its as though your sass did the tango with my sarcasm and together our special little banter was born.

You are with certainty, one of the best people in my life. A person who has never given up on me, always there to see me through. A person who understands me like nobody else with all of my flaws, all of my crazy, and who just gets it. You have this rare, magical, charismatic tendency to make me smile and mean it, laugh when I want to cry, and always care unconditionally. Whether I’m crawling, dragging my feet, pacing myself, walking, or full on balls to the wall running with everything in me, I can’t remember a time where you weren’t there rooting for me at the finish line. Your support is unwavering.

If you ask me, a soul mate doesn’t necessarily have to be the one you end up with, but the people who are there with you until the very end. And that’s who you are to me, have always been, and will continue to be.

Lastly, no matter how many losses we/I may endure in life – I will always be holding the winning ticket in hand because I have you as my friend. I really meant it when I said, any other guy to enter my life will just have to accept being 2nd place. :p

HAPPY DIRRTTAAY 30 Bestie, I love you! xo

Ok, I’ll save the rest for your BIG day! 🙂

All We Have Is Now…

If you unwrapped my heart, you would see that I have lots of shelf room left. You have found where you fit and have settled in nicely. You don’t take up much room but now that spot has become solely yours, and I’m not sure what can possibly decorate the space better in the way you have where you are on display. On the shelf beside you, is a book with a story about us I’ve written for your eyes only. With you, each noun, adjective, verb comes easy and it’s as though words cascade across a page like art on a canvass. I feel light and the sentences form with ease and just flow as though I am the words and you are the letters. The letters reside in a beautifully placed white envelope snuggled between the pages known as the present. And when I unfold to see what’s inside, my hands begin to soak in all that is tangible about you. My heart feels the word ‘Happy’ and my eyes take hold of the word ‘Now.’ And as difficult as it is to not worry being the worry wart that I notoriously am, I’ve learned that now is all we have. I am grateful you’ve become a significant chapter of my story and that we’ve landed on the same page at the right time. We’ve both worked hard individually to get to where we stand. Let’s continue to earn our keep with the addition of filling these pages with you’s & I’s, and words that rhyme with ‘lettuce.’ :p

Thank you for making my nows feel incredibly happy & the joy you bring to me on a daily. Wishing you a beautiful year ahead…

Happy Birthday Alistair! xo