Juxtapose

If someone were to ask me what I love about you, I would certainly mention how much you are the opposite of me. The funny instances how you kindly call dumbass people ‘weird’ then I chime in with my claws out, sink my nammer fangs in, and fill in all the expletives.

You are water. I am fire. You are calm. I am chaos. You are birds chirping on a sunny day. I am firecrackers at 6am on a Monday morning. You are a field of spring meadows. I am a dark alley after midnight. You are an upbeat rnb song. I am a melancholy indie track with side swept bangs. You are a slow and steady walk in the park. I am a maze in a rush. You are pretty easy going. I am ocd and stubborn af. You are unwavering positivity and patience. I am the middle finger stuck in traffic…hungry. You are simply so thoughtful and kind. I am … well lucky. hahaha

It’s in the power of these opposites that my darkness meets the spectrum of your light. That my circle of trust and valuable relationships are born and relishing of connections grow. And it is in the few similarities that we meet, hold hands, and are able to understand and wholeheartedly embrace all the contents our palms have held on to and let go of. It’s in the contrast that I learn most what we are about together and as singular individuals. The moments we drive each other bananas are also the most fruitful of ones. :p

Of all things that have scraped and scarred my palms, of all things my palms have learned to let go of, you make up for everything that wasn’t worth keeping and holding on to (and then some.)

From day one, I appreciate that I didn’t have to chip away at a single layer of ego or issue to get to your heart or to learn your story. It has always been wide open by choice, all accepting smiling back at me. We never had facades, just our flaws and raw honesty upfront: I adore how our imperfections sit comfortably in it’s own skin.

You are like my favorite pair of sweat pants, pj pants, legging pants, buffet pants, anything with an elastic waist band really. You lovingly accommodate my extra extra when the stretch is needed and are the most comfortable emotional attire I wear proudly. You make me feel like the most special pair of pants in a room full of dresses.

Above all, as I write this, I realise you are my heart’s most beautiful juxtapose. I am grateful knowing the other (very) different part of me is you.

Happy 34 my Alibae, wishing you another beautiful birthday and year ahead. XO

 

#34 #birthday #celebration #you #tna #manchestertan #lettuce #201

Luck

It’s like I went to the corner store, decided to pick up a scratch and win, scratched it, and there it was, your face on the winning ticket. Luck found me.

I win because our friendship feels as effortless as our conversation. I win because there is no other single person who can be as honest with me, to borderline offensive and get away with it like you do. :p I win because if ever my buttons were there for anyone to push, it would be for you… but in all of the right ways and reasons. I win because nothing said between us needs to be sugar coated nor filtered, and nothing you say to me can ever be too trite. I win because its as though your sass did the tango with my sarcasm and together our special little banter was born.

You are with certainty, one of the best people in my life. A person who has never given up on me, always there to see me through. A person who understands me like nobody else with all of my flaws, all of my crazy, and who just gets it. You have this rare, magical, charismatic tendency to make me smile and mean it, laugh when I want to cry, and always care unconditionally. Whether I’m crawling, dragging my feet, pacing myself, walking, or full on balls to the wall running with everything in me, I can’t remember a time where you weren’t there rooting for me at the finish line. Your support is unwavering.

If you ask me, a soul mate doesn’t necessarily have to be the one you end up with, but the people who are there with you until the very end. And that’s who you are to me, have always been, and will continue to be.

Lastly, no matter how many losses we/I may endure in life – I will always be holding the winning ticket in hand because I have you as my friend. I really meant it when I said, any other guy to enter my life will just have to accept being 2nd place. :p

HAPPY DIRRTTAAY 30 Bestie, I love you! xo

Ok, I’ll save the rest for your BIG day! 🙂

3 Decades: Turning 30

Inside Job…

Discomfort found my ass this year, gave me a big unwelcomed bear hug and I learned to hug it back & not let it go.

30 has been all about running towards something – Literally. :p Of all places, I found comfort in the discomfort, and pride in the progress and consistency. Each kilometer has breathed life back into me. I no longer feel winded by the up hills, down hills, long distances, pressure, pace, or the daunting task of the first big step. Instead, the greatest little victories came in the form of every step I choose to continue to take there after that keeps me going strong. It has left me riding on a runner’s high that I refuse to come down from.

Little victories are not loud, glamorous, arrogant, shiny, flawless, simple, sweat proof, nor are they effortless & unearned with a 1st place red ribbon attached. They’re long winded, quiet, smelly, chaotic, sweaty, teary, laced with fears, trial and error, emotional, and full of effort often attached to some form of heartache & failure.

But the thing is though, I learned it is patiently waiting to be humbly earned, discovered, and cannot wait to give a great big ass bear hug to those willing to hug it back.

Victory becomes unconditional to those who have braved the storm and weathered the elements. Without a before, the after wouldn’t be as fruitful, rewarding, & sweet. We may look & smell like complete sh*t, but the evolution from the inside feels beautiful even in the midst of all the wind & rain whipping in our face reminding us the necessity of a downpour to splash us awake.

To everyone running your own course, faced with a long winding road ahead, & deeply tested this year… I too hope I can be as much support and love for you at the finish line as much as you have wholeheartedly been for me. Of all things to be grateful for, please know that you are among the things I not only count first… but twice. In witnessing your heartache, struggles, overwhelming strength & graceful resilience, you all inspire me in your own way to strive for my personal best and live bravely.

My legs may be doing the running but it’s my heart that makes it go the distance. Love you guys with all my heart, you know who you are.

Wishing everyone a beautiful new year ahead filled with new beginnings littered with little victories! Together, let’s run this to the finish line and group hug the sh*t out of discomfort. :p

Thank you all for the love today, my heart is grinning ear to ear with gums and all, XO

… Last but not least, OSF. Your kindness never fails to leave a permanent afterglow. I look forward to filling these blank pages with you.

What It All Amounts To…

The gift was not in the getting but in the giving. We simply never kept count. When we did, it was in the crossing off calendar days until we get to see each other again. Distance was not the ocean in between us but in the miles we’ve walked together, apart, and together while apart throughout the years. Some would say drifting apart is the time not spent together, but it made me only appreciate the time we did have tenfold.

It’s rare to find someone who is even happier for me than I am when something positive or exciting happens in my life. Or better yet, someone who remembers a detail in a conversation we had that I don’t even recall I said.

I adore the occasional menses induced bitchery we share when chocolate doesn’t cut it and you need the hard stuff such as a best friend: A girlfriend’s validation triumphs cocoa percentage potency anyday! With empathetic ears, and raging eggs at war with our uterus, together, we endure the 28 day meltdown. If that’s not loyalty in a white padded room, I dunno what is. :p

Or when you (yes you) cry over getting the wrong Whole Foods (avocado, sundried tomato aioli turkey bacon on a French baguette to be exact) sandwich because the PMS she devil has left you grief stricken over anything & everything because b*tches be craaazy like that. (Btw, my fav menses meltdown story of all time, hahaha)

Or how you swear, listening to Adele and ugly crying in front of a mirror is the remedy & cure to any heartbreak. TRIED IT. Ugliest shit everrrr, but effective. lol!

Unconditional really is just that, where needing a reason to be somebody or doing something for the one(s) you love becomes second nature, automatic, and even instinctive. To just be there, or here or anywhere they may need you no matter where you are on the map from each other.

I recently read a line somewhere that said: “Home has a heartbeat.” Let it be part of my journey, adventure, or even destination, all trails lead back to you in some way or form & you have always been that “home” feeling for me.

I never thought about friendship as a popularity contest, or defined it in numbers because you made me believe that having just that one who understands everything below & beyond the surface is what it all amounts to. Anything less than, just doesn’t compare. I am certainly lucky to have found more than one of you gold nuggets.

Thank you for being my ABCs when my thoughts were out of order. My 123s when I didn’t know what foot to put in front of the other. My constant reassurance when I needed someone most. In your own hilarious loving way, you’ve held your perfectly manicured hands up for me and stood in my corner so many times when I was simply too tired to go the next round.

I’m forever grateful to have you in my life today, and always. Hopefully when we’re 60 and brittle as fug, I will still have the feist in me to ‘Solange’ anybody who irritates you while you fret about how our boobs look like 10 day old moldy oranges. :\ Whoever’s jugs hit the floor first, wins. Yeah? 😀 Here’s to another decade of friendship and growing old together…

HAPPY BEAUTIFUL BIRTHDAY Dude! May the BIG 30 be just as amazing as you are!

I kinda love you… a lot.

Always,
Your Terru

To Sunny Days

“She sunk her toes in, felt the warm touch of soft powdered sand, looked up only to see the vast beauty of blue skies surround her without the threat of a cloud in sight. In the horizon, turquoise clear waters went as far as the eye can see. The humidity of the heat dampened her skin wet and next to her was a friendly coconut palm tree offering it’s shade & company should she need it. It’s leaves softly brushed in the air against the gentle ocean breeze letting sunlight penetrate between the palm leaves hitting her skin – the way crystals reflect light sending happy tingles down her spine. In that moment, calm hugged her with its comforting embrace, beauty found her, and she found… peace.”

If I can control the forecast, I would have the warm protective halo of sunshine to surround you every single day, the grace of wind to whisper peaceful music into your ears until that is all you hear, the vibrant smell of spring flowers bloom invite the beauty of simplicity into your heart, and with each wake, the gift of solitude of a vacation right here at home. Most of all, I wish you a new found calm of knowing tomorrow will be beautiful just the same, following all the days after with enormous promise.

If I could, I would put it all in a pretty little box and give it to you to open over and over again.

However, should it rain, I promise to always have a spot for you underneath my umbrella. Together, we will huddle, weather, and jump any puddles in sight and never be afraid to get wet (…with the exception of my brows gurrl).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY My Beautiful Gazelle!

I wish you joy with all my heart. Love you.

Always,
Terry

Her Happy Disposition

If I popped a bubble, out would pour confetti in the form of your signature giggles,
The sound of your distinct laughter echoing off vibrant walls,
Your closed eyed gummy smile that can occupy an entire room,
And your intensely warm personality reflecting your kindness.

If I popped a bubble, a carbon copy in the form of Ethni & Ethan would appear –
Her temperamental stare, along with your classic dragon nostril flare,
His enormous beautiful smile that lingered for awhile.
Both their tiny compact stature, their tendency to wholeheartedly share,
And those quick little hands getting things done with love and care.

If I popped a bubble, I can only hope to be half as good as a mom as you are one day,
As great of a sister who leads by example in every way:
The direction when I needed it, the guidance when I needed guiding,
And simply being the older sister that just naturally is in the way a younger sibling needs her to be.

You may stand only 4″11 tall, but I find myself looking up to you more times than I can count. Thank you for teaching me that strength is not measured in height, but in the steps taken from stepping up with or without a step stool when hardships reach you. You do it not because you want to – but often, because you just have to. And last but not least, thanks for being that steady consistent good thing in my life, feeding me, and ‘showing up’ when it counts most.

Like your plate and that last bite of food you ALWAYS leave behind, :p You seem to never fail to leave that happy ‘confetti’ that IS you which never needs a reason to be cleaned up.

Happy Birthday Chi Ba, stay cute, bubbly, and small and keep the jars on the lower shelf… it’s not like Arvin can help you with those either. :p

Love You!

Xo,
Your slightly taller little bitchy sister. 🙂

Tell Me About Your Rehtom

We don’t get to choose the families we’re born into but we do get to choose who becomes our family… Contrary to what’s been said, it’s not always about blood. We are blessed (understatement) to have you apart of ours. Thank you for leveling out the crazy train and balancing the chaos with your man logic in a sea full of very emotional Vietnamese siblings that never listen. It’s like the light bulb only goes off for us when there’s no electricity. :p Know that you are appreciated and I would FB fight 300 style for you anyday, lol! And just because your reverse psychology stopped working (did it ever?), are you really going to give up trying? See what I did there? (If anything, keep on doing it for my entertainment juuust so I can call you out on it or even better, let you think it still works.) :p

Happy Birthday Moleman, Love You!

Xo,
Your twisted SIL.