The Present

Growing a year older means different things to different people. It can be a deep rooted intense fear of loss: loss of youth, loss of vanity, loss of life. It can be a peaceful morning stretch of sore muscles and creaky limbs. A slow metabolism. The strong desire to start a family. Forming the kind of bonds with souls who become family. A roller coaster of emotions seeking only the high. The sight of our aging parents becoming more fragile. Realizing that as our niece(s) and nephew(s) mature, we too are getting old as hell. It can mean a slew of responsibilities and not enough fun. A hard fall looking for a soft place to land; a maze when what you need is a compass; fatigue in every sense. It can mean fleeting moments that have expiry dates; a ticking clock that doesn’t wait; a race with time, or simply slowing down and taking a moment to sober up from the chaos. It can be prioritizing the who’s and the what’s of what is really important verses what’s not even worth the time. It can be sifting and taking inventory of what we place value on when our heart feels disheveled. It can mean a hard decision. A confusing dance between acceptance, adapting, change, or letting shit go. It can be a slow and steady break up with self-limiting beliefs and what no longer serve us. A process of healing through unlearning what we are taught and tethered to. It can be unwinding to life at your own pace. A passionate pause. Or finally finding that sweet spot in the futile pursuit of balance. It can even mean being in a good emotional space, being at peace and it only keeps getting better and better!

Whatever it is, age to me feels like a 360 view. The magic is in the perspective; how we choose to see it from where we stand, and embracing how we got there. The scenery can still be beautiful even though the trek was anything but.

I can name all the ways we’ve grown and changed since we were kids. I can name all the instances we’ve fallen and landed both on our face and feet. But what I want to name most is where we are now: The Present.

I find it funny how they call it ‘The Present.’ Perhaps because being in the present *is* a gift wrapped beautifully with two extra bows and it’s contents can only exist, thrive, and be appreciated in the now. The extra bow is a second chance in case we missed it the first time. 😉

As I write this, I realize with your history of gerascophobia, I possibly gave you a growing list, hahaha :p I hope you enjoy everything about today and right now dude. Not what’s behind or before you but what’s in front of you. May what reflects back at you be a beautiful reminder that who you are now, where you are now be a gift, and the present unwrapping itself gently for you to take in and absorb like a big cozy hug. I hope it all seeps in like the most amazing food coma. :p

So happy that you are spending your birthday at the big family reunion in Malaysia! Hope you have the most special reminiscent time with the familiar sights, sounds, and above all else, the people. Wishing you so much love and light in the coming year, HAPPIEST of birthdays dude! XO Terru

 

#33 #birthday #celebration #you #gratitude

 

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Juxtapose

If someone were to ask me what I love about you, I would certainly mention how much you are the opposite of me. The funny instances how you kindly call dumbass people ‘weird’ then I chime in with my claws out, sink my nammer fangs in, and fill in all the expletives.

You are water. I am fire. You are calm. I am chaos. You are birds chirping on a sunny day. I am firecrackers at 6am on a Monday morning. You are a field of spring meadows. I am a dark alley after midnight. You are an upbeat rnb song. I am a melancholy indie track with side swept bangs. You are a slow and steady walk in the park. I am a maze in a rush. You are pretty easy going. I am ocd and stubborn af. You are unwavering positivity and patience. I am the middle finger stuck in traffic…hungry. You are simply so thoughtful and kind. I am … well lucky. hahaha

It’s in the power of these opposites that my darkness meets the spectrum of your light. That my circle of trust and valuable relationships are born and relishing of connections grow. And it is in the few similarities that we meet, hold hands, and are able to understand and wholeheartedly embrace all the contents our palms have held on to and let go of. It’s in the contrast that I learn most what we are about together and as singular individuals. The moments we drive each other bananas are also the most fruitful of ones. :p

Of all things that have scraped and scarred my palms, of all things my palms have learned to let go of, you make up for everything that wasn’t worth keeping and holding on to (and then some.)

From day one, I appreciate that I didn’t have to chip away at a single layer of ego or issue to get to your heart or to learn your story. It has always been wide open by choice, all accepting smiling back at me. We never had facades, just our flaws and raw honesty upfront: I adore how our imperfections sit comfortably in it’s own skin.

You are like my favorite pair of sweat pants, pj pants, legging pants, buffet pants, anything with an elastic waist band really. You lovingly accommodate my extra extra when the stretch is needed and are the most comfortable emotional attire I wear proudly. You make me feel like the most special pair of pants in a room full of dresses.

Above all, as I write this, I realise you are my heart’s most beautiful juxtapose. I am grateful knowing the other (very) different part of me is you.

Happy 34 my Alibae, wishing you another beautiful birthday and year ahead. XO

 

#34 #birthday #celebration #you #tna #manchestertan #lettuce #201

33

🎈33: thanks for the extra white hairs coming in, the assortment of fine (frown and laugh) lines in my expression, my molasses like metabolism, and the little surprises with the ache in my joints and spasm in my muscles. talk about body party. thanks for the humble reminder that everything I do to attempt to keep you healthy, is really to delay deterioration and how eating spicy ass food has it’s dire consequences. on a side note, thanks for my extra durable colon. Inspite of all the visible signs, I wouldn’t trade you for my teens nor twenties because teenagers smell weird and growing as a 30 something has been the best and most valuable years yet. You’ve taught me plenty in 2016. As a result, I feel more ‘planted’ than ever because my feet knows where it consciously chooses to stand, with my head and heart assertively leading the way.

I looked into the mirror this morning as you whispered softly “dim sum chicken feet” into my ears. With bated breath, I made it happen and chicken feet is what was had. dreams do come true. you’re welcome. :p

With no makeup and morning breath that can kill a house plant, it was still a solid feeling simply being able to recognize my own reflection not for it’s shell or external condition, but what I know to be true on the inside deep down into my bones. you’ve grounded me.

above all, the best (and hardest) lesson you teach me every single year as the years add on is that “the only way out is through.” there are no shortcuts and if there is one, it’s likely a cliff ahead without a warning sign, lol

here’s to another beautiful 365… Thanks alistair for a day of obesity eats & these blizzard cupcakes. xx

Power of The Wallflower

 

 Image may contain: one or more people and flower
Happy Birthday Coco G ~ My favorite Ninja!
It may be known that you wear a lot of black but I hope you are aware of how colorful your personality is. Like good art, it doesn’t need to be displayed for the world to see but will happily hang where it is appreciated and understood with it’s many layers, textures, shades, and depth. You remind me of the museums you love to seep yourself in: Clean and understated: Less is always more. You carry your qualities like you do with your drinks: extra strong, overflowing, and two at a time. All three can keep you up for days. Hahaha! What a year of happenings it has been for us both – Too. Many. Jokes. It’s comical what has made us connect this year: our passion/addiction for milk bbt, eats within the bbt radius, FRANCHISE DREAMS, dilated pupils, brunch lineups #alwayswaiting, feng xeis and wong fus, Cambodian ghosts, a whole lotta bullsheit, and above all, taking out the trash… and it’s lid.

Thru it all, I have come to learn and respect your integrity, silent ninja moves(it’s a lost art), uncanny impressions, sharp observation, foresight, but more than anything else, how you have a solid sense of who you are and what you stand for – bowl slammin’ included. :p

As I get older, I see how significant is it to be among quality souls that have the innate ability to see other quality souls with values that align and a mutual level of respect to match.

In true introvert fashion, I know you don’t like to stand out but the qualities above are what set you apart from the rest…to me. Because your surroundings are vital to your energy and peace, I hope you continue to surround your world with people, places, things, and of course, art that fills your heart with inspiration and life like a classic Bob Ross painting and his gorgeous afro.

Wishing you a beautiful year ahead that hopefully *feels* like it’s October all year around!

#birthday #celebration #you #powerofthewallflower #guhaweh #⚫️

Hard Work

I believe in HARD WORK.

I believe that people who do more and say less get shit done. I believe people who carry consistency and hard work on their backs are well aware that results come from the labor not the lazy. They have very little time for bullshit and b*tches. :p I believe that people like this know that anything worth having doesn’t come easy even when the ground feels like quick sand, they challenge that sinking feeling. I believe people who follow through even through the darkest of days is not only a reflection of who they are but the depth of their faith.

I’ve seen strong. It has an indestructible backbone. It’s opinion doesn’t hinder. It admits when its wrong, it stands up for what it believes to be right. It takes accountability and takes charge. It doesn’t compromise who it is for acceptance nor approval. It has many layers, and pillars helping it stand tall no matter what external elements try to tear it down or discourage it’s process. It is basically not to be f*cked with annnnnd has the nicest purse collection & hair. :p

Behind it’s fierceness also exists a softness that doesn’t make an appearance too often but when it does… its rare, special, and breathtakingly beautiful like a solar eclipse. It has the kind of heart that reminds me that beyond hard exteriors and behind tough words ALWAYS lies so much more than strength but what’s on the other side of the coin. It reminds me that such strength only exists because it’s been tested. And yes, when this kind of strength cries, it has the ability to move an entire house.

If you were to ask me, YOU represent all of the above.

It’s not every day that we see each other, but it’s in everyday that I know “You are the company you keep.” The quality of my thoughts is in large part who and what I surround myself with. You have always been a positive and bright setting in the backdrop.

We are all building our worlds quietly, constructing a life worth living. From a spectator’s point of view and where I stand, you’ve always simply knew where you stood in this world. And because you do, I don’t see anything or anyone deter you from where you are going and want to be. Strength, happiness, and a sense of who we are is a 24/7 inside job and must be earned. I can’t tell you how much I respect how hard you work, not just academically but on who you are as a person, designing the life you want. I know one person who would be especially proud of you today because you are a shining extension of her kindness, beauty…her.

Never stop SHINING Guuuurl, esp. with that conditioner you’re using. :p

You are three decades young and just getting started! Today I wish you the best of days and of course wishing you the most beautiful year ahead! ~ HAPPY DIRTY THIRTY HARPO!!! I know you have too much class but it won’t hurt to be a BIG DIRTY WHORE just for today! 😛 lol

XOXO ~ Terwinder

Humble Success

The December ‘baby’ FINALLY turns the BIG THIRTY! Guuurl, I would tell you to make it dirty, but you’re married, so lucky for Jimmy to be at the receiving end. :p We’ve known each other awhile now, & although I don’t get to see you as often, I’ve come to learn three admirable qualities about you I have always respected: You’re quiet in your ambition, loud in your results, & remain humble in your success.

You have a way about you that never fails to make things look easy, but I do know behind your laid back sense of grace… is a hardworking, determined mind consistently reaching for the stars. You may be awkwardly stiff in your expression of love, but I’ve come to embrace your hugs. Because sheit, if I don’t use my arms, and you don’t use your arms, we’re pretty much two human standing poles. :p You care in your own way, love in your own language, & are an incredibly kind & warm person inside out even with them armless hugs. 🙂

Just as you do at the gym, everything you lift, you lift in life with pure heart. Now let me shred some cheese on them abs guuurl. Meow.

Happy 30th Jaskiran!!! Wishing you an amazing year ahead filled with sunny days. May all that you put forth into the world as a teacher, wife, friend, sister, daughter, gym beast, etc. wholeheartedly come back to you tenfold. Heart you!

XO,
Terwinder

Luck

It’s like I went to the corner store, decided to pick up a scratch and win, scratched it, and there it was, your face on the winning ticket. Luck found me.

I win because our friendship feels as effortless as our conversation. I win because there is no other single person who can be as honest with me, to borderline offensive and get away with it like you do. :p I win because if ever my buttons were there for anyone to push, it would be for you… but in all of the right ways and reasons. I win because nothing said between us needs to be sugar coated nor filtered, and nothing you say to me can ever be too trite. I win because its as though your sass did the tango with my sarcasm and together our special little banter was born.

You are with certainty, one of the best people in my life. A person who has never given up on me, always there to see me through. A person who understands me like nobody else with all of my flaws, all of my crazy, and who just gets it. You have this rare, magical, charismatic tendency to make me smile and mean it, laugh when I want to cry, and always care unconditionally. Whether I’m crawling, dragging my feet, pacing myself, walking, or full on balls to the wall running with everything in me, I can’t remember a time where you weren’t there rooting for me at the finish line. Your support is unwavering.

If you ask me, a soul mate doesn’t necessarily have to be the one you end up with, but the people who are there with you until the very end. And that’s who you are to me, have always been, and will continue to be.

Lastly, no matter how many losses we/I may endure in life – I will always be holding the winning ticket in hand because I have you as my friend. I really meant it when I said, any other guy to enter my life will just have to accept being 2nd place. :p

HAPPY DIRRTTAAY 30 Bestie, I love you! xo

Ok, I’ll save the rest for your BIG day! 🙂